• P O S T • L O C K D O W N •
Anyone else got the fear? As nervous as I was at the start of this whole process - the fear of contracting the virus, the worry of how we would cope, cooped up together for weeks neè months on end, what were the rules, could we go out, how far, for how long? Watching the whole thing unfold on TV like a disaster movie. Those nerves have now flipped reversed and I'm now nervous to come out. Once again, what will the rules be, are we all part of a giant experiment to see if wave number two hits and when? Life as we knew it is nothing but a distant memory. And if I'm honest I'm glad. I was in a rat run...I'd been in it for nearly 20 years and despite leaving the corporate world I think both my business partner and I would happily admit those habits were hard to break. In some warped way I've quite enjoyed moments of lockdown (note the word "moments", there have equally been some shit times....often) and cherished spending so much time with my family - a time we won't get again. I'll miss so much of this quiet little existence....I hope some of the things we can keep...the morning meditation and yoga, the baking, the slow pace, the talking to neighbours who we barely mumbled a "hullo" to before, the weekly street sing-a-long, the weekly clapping, the garden sanctuary, the enjoyment of the sunrise and sunset, the fresh air, the lack of materialistic items that when it comes down to it mean nothing. But maybe it doesn't have to end? This was not a time, if asked some months or years ago, I would anticipate surviving mentally and don't get me wrong there have been significant lows that come along with the highs. The arguments, the almighty mood swings on everyone's part, the tantrums when your child refuses to do the school work....(I mean why should they, we are Mamas not school teachers,) the stress and anxiety, the sleepless nights, the lack of a simple human act like a hug with a parent or friend, the constant tidying, the endless cooking. We all knew parenting came with a degree of patience but who knew we all had this much.
A fellow Mama and friend wrote so eloquently the other day "who would have known there was so much tether left after reaching what you once thought was the end of it"
In all of this I hope we have learned something...I know I have.
• A B O U T • M E •
So, this is us. Me and my gang. Mama to two little boys who totally rock my world. Rafferty, or Raffy to his pals, first born, the cheekiest, funniest, smartest thing you'll ever meet and who lights up our lives daily with his wit and charm. Jude, now two and half, so different yet so similar to his older brother. His 'danger' attitude, a stark contrast to his brothers H&S cautionary tale, is wild and free with the most infectious giggle and killer watt smile...a true charmer.
I set up @brixton_mamas, some 2 years ago, a little while after Jude hastily entered this world. I wanted to throw myself into the local mummy community and seek out like-minded ladies (or stay at home dads) to chat to (read - moan at) meet for coffee (wine), do some yoga (slip on the gear and then slip off for a pastry and a coffee) - you get the idea.
I suffered PND with my first born and having avoided NCT and all "mummy related groups, perhaps from fear of the unknown, I knew I needed more support the second time around. But I also knew I needed 'me' time, and an opportunity to chat to people about babies or not - that was up to us. I arrange "Mama Meet ups" around the local community for like minded Mums. A chance for mums to meet other local women and make friends in a place where perhaps they felt alone. For the last two years I have met some of the most wonderful people and got to know a community that I didn't know existed. I am truly thankful for a bunch of women who saved me from going down that rabbit hole. I will continue to be here as long as they will have me.