How self care got a bad rep

From the moment they hand you your baby your life as you know it has completely changed. Motherhood is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced but it also has moments of complete isolation. As much as I love being a mother there are moments that I mourn for the girl I once knew.

I think the perception of what self-care is can seem unattainable to many mums, especially new ones. Self-care simply means not giving up on yourself whilst you care for others. It may seem ridiculous but for me, self-care was spending a few in the bathroom doing my skincare ritual. It was a moment of peace that I focused on something I could control.  

I’m a do-er and for me, the hardest part of this new role I have is accepting that I need to be OK with not getting shit done. I mean…literally not getting a single thing done some days. In the early months, there were days that if I made it in the shower it was an accomplishment. The pressure we put on ourselves as moms is INTENSE. If you tried to explain what ‘mom guilt’ was to me pre-baby I would have been lost. Now its something I feel every day.

Self-care can be having a glass of wine in the shower while you ball your eyes out. It can be going to the grocery store alone to walk down every single aisle and study each thing like your life depended on it. It can be sitting in your car screaming at the top of your lungs. Sometimes it’s blasting your radio when that tune comes on that brings all the feels. Sometimes it’s making peanut butter and jam sandwiches for dinner. It can be buying a tub of ice cream and sitting in your car in silence while you eat it all.   It can be pulling out that notebook and writing down the things inside your head that keep you up at night. Whatever it is you need to do it. Sometimes self-care is learning to say no. NO to people around you and sometimes no to yourself.